One thousand and eighty two days ago, I put this recurring reminder on my phone: trust God to do what only He can do.
At the time, I needed the reminder every afternoon before I went to one of the after-school programs I was directing. The group was particularly challenging and in a lot of ways I was at the end of my rope. The reminder was needed as a deep breath before walking in with love in my heart and firmness in my voice.
I needed the reminder that God is the only one who can actually change my heart my for the better – and the hearts of the kids. I needed the reminder that God is at work in ways I will never see and my role is faithfulness. I needed the reminder that my plans for those kids were small-minded in comparison to his plans for them. I needed the reminder that I am weak and He is not and more often than not (okay, always), I should trust Him to run the show.
The reminder shows up on my phone to this day. Mostly because I never took the time to take it off. I guess I can be somewhat of a virtual hoarder.
But, now I find that when I actually take the time to read the reminder and let it into my brain (instead of it going in one neuron and out the other), it always applies to something in my life. Always. There are things that only God (not me, a human) can do and so often I don’t trust him for them.
I want to trust God to do what only he can do to the point that it creates excitement in me. Excitement because although I don’t know what he will do, I trust it and wait expectantly to see what it will be.
I want to have such trust that it creates a deep well of peace that’s never dry. I want to have such trust that it creates an emotional fullness and security that allows me to be vulnerable and offended without fearing rejection. I want to have such trust that anxiety has no power over me. I want to have such trust that hope stays alive within me.
So, I lead my heart to imagine what God could do, whatever my current situation is. What is it that only he could do? Then I tell my heart to stop trying to imagine that, because I can’t even begin think up all that he wants to do! Trust him to do what only he can do, even if I can’t imagine it.
I counsel my heart to trust in the God who has already given me everything; who, in Jesus Christ, has already come to me, a person designed to be close to God but incapable of achieving that myself. I remind myself to trust his heart, trust his intentions, and trust him to do the things that only He is capable of accomplishing.
“Now to Him who is able to do infinitely more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)